Friday, January 7, 2011

DMV = Diminished Mental Volume

Haven't updated in a while, need to let you know what's happening.....

I got through my first week of school with flying colors. We went through a text book that was over 400 pages and crammed with information that I never thought possible to absorb. By the end of the week, I took a 100 question quiz on the material and I'm happy to report, I only missed one.

So, my assignment for the weekend, go to the DMV, take the necessary test and obtain my Class A learners permit. Without this, I will not be able to drive the trucks at the school.

In the interest of completing my assignment in speedy and orderly fashion, I decide to show up at the DMV rather early. No stress, plenty of time, confident of my knowledge, this shouldn't take long at all. Little did I know, the Gresham office was tipped off that I would be coming in today and had already held a staff meeting to discuss new ways to test my emotional stability. I strolled in at about 8:45am, lobby was mostly empty, the office seemed to be oddly peaceful and serene. I took my number and waited only a few moments before one of the clerks called it out. I walked to the counter and laid out my well organized paper work. That's where it all began....

I told the smirking State worker why I was there and could barely get my sentence finished before he looked back at me and curtly replied as he slid my birth certificate back to my side of the window "unfortunately, I can't take this." My sudden change in mood and expression left him with the sense of obligation to answer the question that I was still trying to form on my lips. He said "see this" as he pointed to large red type on the face of the document. He was directing my attention to the words "FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY NOT TO BE USED TO ESTABLISH IDENTITY". Well, OK, I knew that was there but I wasn't overly concerned about it. I assumed that my drivers license established my identity and the Birth Certificate was only to establish where I was born. And, I received this document from the State of California and it had the raised, embossed seal on it. How much more valid does it need to be? After all, it does say that it is for informational purposes only and I handed it over to provide some information.

I offered a very short argument with the DMV clerk over this since my will power to suppress my desire to commit murder was growing weaker by the second. I figured it best to walk away before I earned myself a criminal record.

As I drove toward home, fumming, I decided to practice chapter 37 of the text I recently studdied.....Talking like a trucker.

I got home and decided that I will pick up all required documents in person and deliver them in person. I immediately started booking a flight for Southern California, to return to the place of my birth so I could retrieve valid documentation that attests to that fact. I then decided to make one other attempt before spending 500 bucks to hire out myself as my own delivery boy. I called my dear, sweet Grandma and asked if she could go to the hall of records (about 15 miles from her house) and overnight it to me. Thank God I have one of the best Grandma's on the planet. She graciously accepted her mission and told me that she would call me when completed. I'm still waiting for that call, hope all went well.

Meanwhile, I went back to the DMV and took the required test which I easily passed. As soon as my documentation arrives, they will give me my permit.

I also went by the school and explained this situation to them and they were more than understanding. It seems to me that I am not the first student there that has gone rounds with the DMV.

Better days ahead, I'm not going to worry about it. Thank God for my Grandma!!!



  1. There are days like that and then there are days that get worse...ugh. But on the bright side...there are a lot of great days too. I pray it all comes through for you John. And God bless grandma! Good blog.

  2. Whatever would we do without the ever vigilant government agencies to protect us from all manner of evildoers? I just renewed my license, although in my case I got a very nice clerk. I was told that all the new requirements are ordered from Homeland Security. Even though I have been licensed in Oregon for FORTY years, I had to prove I was me and was legally in this country. Okay, enough soapbox. Good Luck Red and keep us posted.